


Childhood

by Kiloueka



Series: No Spoilers [1]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Babysitting, F/M, Fluff, No Spoilers, SO MUCH FLUFF, so many robo kiddos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14312229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiloueka/pseuds/Kiloueka
Summary: 2B and 9S take the day off working for the Resistance to babysit Pascal's kids while he's away and decide to join the kids in the games they play.





	Childhood

“Thank you 2B, 9S!” The exasperated Pascal exclaimed as he finished throwing a random assortment of books and other objects in a large suitcase. “I'm so sorry this is such short notice, but I didn't get word of it myself until just a few hours ago.”

“It's fine.” Responded 2B. “We're glad to help and we didn't have much planned today anyway.”

“Yeah,” added 9S, “just some data I need to go over, and I can easily do that right here.”

"Oh, that's good to hear. Thank you again! I've sent you a to-do list so you can take care of all the children's needs; it shouldn't take too long and once you're done just watch over them until I return. I have no idea how long I'll be but I'll keep sending updates whenever I can. Thank you and goodbye!" He waved as he rocketed himself out of camp off to a nearby village.

“All right, well...” 9S pulled up the list on his pod. His eyes flicked from side to side as he skimmed through the list. “Damn, these kids are needy. Wanna just get this all over with right now, 2B?”

“Sure.” She shrugged.

They spent the next hour or so running down the list to tend to the children's daily needs. Leonard needs his knee joints oiled. Wally needs to catch up on reading some book about plants. Maria needs a new coat of paint on her chest plate. They were easy enough to complete, despite the gaggle of children always following and watching them do their work, asking tons of strange and annoying questions.

After the last task was complete, the two sent the children off to play in the yard below while they got some much needed quiet time at the top of the slide. 9S took 2B's hands in his and began absentmindedly cleaning dirt and paint off her petite, yet deadly fingers. She did the same for him, pulling a tissue from his bag and wiping off a smudge of oil from his cheek and picking cobwebs from his hair.

When all was said and done they leaned up against each other and silently watched over the yard and the children playing various old world games for some time.

“2B.” 9S mumbled after a long silence. “Do you ever get jealous sometimes?”

“Of?” She tilted her head at his question.

“Like... We had to fight this war from the day we were created. We were forced into adulthood from the moment we were born. We never had a childhood... We never got to be free... We could never... just run around and play some silly kid's game...” He signed forlornly. “I just... I dunno.”

“Hmm...” Muttered 2B. “Well, what's stopping us now?”

“Huh?”

“We're free now, aren't we? Nothing's stopping us from catching up on lost time.” She jumped up, brushed herself off, and immediately leaped onto the slide and slid down on the tips of her toes.

“W-wait, 2B!” 9S scrambled up to follow her, sitting down on the slide before sliding down. “That's not how you do it!”

When he got to the bottom, he found 2B sitting against the trunk, holding her hand and giggling like a schoolgirl. When he walked up to her she held out her hand to show him a bloody red scrape on her palm. 9S gasped and immediately threw off his bag to dig for some medical supplies.

“2B, are you ok!?”

“I was careless and let my foot catch on a loose panel. Might not have been my smartest decision, but it still was fun.”

9S smiled and relaxed a bit as her carefree attitude helped calm his nerves. “B-be careful next time 2B!”

“Big sis!” A machine child screamed as they, and two other rounded the corner and caught sight of her injury. “You're hurt!”

“It's fine.” 2B smiled. “Just a little scrape.”

“But, but when androids bleed it's bad!” The child gasped.

“Yeah, bad!” The other two chimed in.

“Uncle Pascal said... he said you gotta wash the hurt and then put banges on it or it'll be really bad.”

“We'll go get some!”

“Yeah, don't die big sis!”

“Gotta save big sis!”

The three children began running and hopping away to wherever their stash of water and 'banges' were stored. 2B and 9S couldn't hold back a laugh when they were out of earshot.

“I can't believe this though.” 9S said as 2B wiped her hand off on her pants. “Such a powerful and graceful combat model like you defeated by a slide? That slide must be a dangerous enemy in disguise! We'll have to defeat it!” 9S grabbed a mallet from the pile of tools left behind by the shopkeeper machines and rushed at the slide. 2B looked on in confusion until 9S found the problem panel and began aggressively whacking it with the mallet.

"Take that! And that! How dare you hurt my 2B!" He continued smacking it, making little progress. 2B snorted in amusement and came up behind him and stomped down on it with her boot. Within just a few hits, the panel was back in its place. She ground the toe of her boot into it and let out an exaggerated laugh while posing dramatically with her hands on her hips and head held high.

“Take that enemy! Your reign of terror is over.”

9S stared up in wonder at the sight, eyes wide and jaw slightly slack. 2B looked down at him and flinched, putting her hands down nervously and resuming her normal stance.

“Was that too much?” She mumbled.

“No! No. I just... you're just... so adorable.” 9S could feel tears welling up in his eyes as his emotions overwhelmed. “My processors just can't handle how cute and amazing you are.” He stood up and took her cheeks in his hands and pulled her in for a soft kiss. “I want to see more of that side of you.”

2B sighed and relaxed in his hands, leaning forward into a longer, and more passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer; her warm body against his nearly turned him into jelly and he desperately wanted to curl up with her under a thick mountain of pillows and blankets.

“Big sis! Big sis!” The returning children's voices snapped them back to reality. “Big sis, we got the-- EWWW!” They turned to see the three children standing stark still near the access point. The largest one had dropped the bucket of water on the floor in order to cover their eyes. The middle one was using the various bits of cloth, aka, the 'banges' to cover theirs. The smallest one had simply turned around and buried their face in the bark of the tree.

“Okaaayyy kids,” 9S said in a singsong voice, “it's safe to look now.” They both bit back a laugh as the kids slowly uncovered their eyes and faced them.

“Oh no!” The smallest one screamed as they saw the spilled water. “Karen you dropped the bucket! We gotta hurry and get more before 2B gets hurt more!”

“I didn't mean to Hal! It was gross!” Karen screamed back.

“It's ok kids!” 9S yelled. “I have some water here!” He pulled a small bottle from his pack and took 2B's scraped hand in his. The children gasped and ran over to them to deliver the bandages while he cleaned her wound. Once he had washed all the grit off, he took one of the bits of cloth the still-nameless child held out to him and began tenderly wrapping her hand up in it.

The two androids both knew that wrapping it up like that was a bit excessive and unnecessary, but neither of them had the heart to turn down their generous offer. So he bandaged it anyway and tied a little bow on the top of her hand with the remaining scraps.

“There, good as new!” He smiled. “Thank you all for your help saving 2B! You all worked really hard.”

“Yes, thank you Karen, thank you Hal, thank you...” 2B gestured at the last child.

“Gladys!”

“Thank you Gladys.” She smiled. “How will I ever repay you all?”

Immediately Karen gasped and screamed “Shiny stuff!” The other two jumped and clapped in agreement.

“Hmm...” 9S thought. “Oh! I actually might have some shiny stuff right here!” He fished around in his inventory and pulled out a handful of small crystals. They had no practical purpose to him; he had simply collected them during his travels because they caught his eye and their bright shimmer reminded him of 2B... metaphorically speaking.

“You can each pick your favorite one.” He smiled.

Karen and Gladys both eyed the pile of rocks, carefully deciding which one they wanted, but Hal immediately grabbed the biggest two in their hands and held them close to their face.

“Haaallll!” Karen whined and smacked them on the head. “Ninesy said you can have only one!”

“Ninesy?” 2B snorted quietly.

“Yah, but...” They pouted. “But I should get yours 'cuz you dropped the bucket!”

“Not fair! You didn't even bring anything!”

9S and 2B watched in amusement as the two children bickered over the rocks. He started feeling bad after Karen began looking legitimately upset and decided to finally step in.

“Hal, you know all three of you worked very hard to help 2B, so it's only fair that you each get one crystal.”

“Okaaayy...” Hal pouted and held out his hand to Karen. They looked at them for a quick moment before taking the swirly red one and bouncing off, giggling.

“Karen!” Gladys squealed. “You forgot to say 'thank you'!”

“Oh.” Karen stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Thank you Mr. Ninesy!” They yelled and immediately bounded off again.

"Yeah, thanks!" Hal said and turned to follow Karen.

Gladys was still deciding as they scratched their chin. “I think...” They raised their hand and held it over his momentarily, before picking out a small, sparkly, green one and hugging it to their body. “Thank you I'll trezz-- I'll tresh-- I'll treezzhur-- It's pretty!” They turned and waved goodbye before hopping after the other two.

“God, they're so annoying, but they're so cute.” 9S laughed.

“Mmm...” 2B hummed. “Well, now that ordeal's over, wanna try the slide again... _Mr. Ninesy?_ ”

“Why of course... _Miss Toobsie!_ ” He gave her a cheeky grin before running back up the slide ahead of her. It wasn't even a whole five seconds before he let out a shrill scream as he narrowly jumped over another kid that came barreling down the slide right at him.

 

Over the next few hours, the two androids flitted from game to game, joining each of the friend groups in whatever activity they were doing at that moment.

 

Leonard and Kitt, the goliaths who both seemed too huge to be considered children, taught them how to play hopscotch. They directed 9S to draw the squares in the dirt as their giant hands weren't exactly made for precision work like that. The proceeded to destroy the court with their giant feet each time they jumped on it, making 9S fix it every time so they could continue playing. 2B seemed to be endlessly amused by his frustration but eventually dragged him off to the next game when he nearly yelled at Leonard for splattering mud in his face.

 

Ed, Dory, and Gertrude showed them their extensive collection of makeshift paints and crayons. All five of them seemed to struggle with getting their drawings to look like anything recognizable, but in the end, 2B and 9S exchanged semi-presentable portraits of the other. 9S could feel his chest swell as he looked over at how hard 2B worked to try to make it look like him, despite the end result not exactly being a masterpiece. She pulled him into a tight hug when he told her he would treasure it forever.

 

Thomas, Rosie, Bishop, and Wally invited them to play a game of dodgeball. 9S was out almost instantly the first time as the children decided to gang up on him and throw all their balls at once. 2B continued to dodge everything thrown at her with ease, and it wasn't until 9S joined the opposing team and distracted her with a wink and a blown kiss that one of them managed to graze her leg and win the game. They quit the next match after 2B got a bit overzealous with her throw and nearly knocked the head off of Bishop.

 

Cindy and Maria had them play "the ground is lava". Maria spent the whole time whining at Cindy for using her propellers to fly from place to place. 2B and 9S didn't mind much as they were too busy hopping from root to platform to rock trying to catch the other and push them into the "Lava". 9S even acted out a whole dramatic death scene as he hit the dirt until 2B's light-hearted laughs grew quiet and strained when he went limp on the ground. They moved on to the next group after he realized his mistake and apologized with a gentle kiss and a back rub.

 

Marvin, Robbie, and Bunnie had them try their hands at “Limbo”. Again, 2B was a natural pro at this with 9S not too far behind. The children, with their large, clunky bodies continued to make up rule after rule to accommodate for the fact that the game was designed by and for humans (or human-shaped individuals). By the time 2B and 9S moved on, the children had decided that any way they could get under the pole without hitting it counted, whether they rolled, or dragged themselves, or detached their heads and tossed them under instead.

 

Clank, Ash, and Johnny taught them “Simon Says”. Who was Simon? Nobody knew so Johnny insisted on renaming it “Johnny Says.” It wasn't really popular with the others so she eventually dropped it, grumbling to herself about everyone being jerks. 9S excelled at this game, beating everyone each time, much to their frustrations. They eventually made him be “Simon” for the rest of the game until they got bored and wandered off to take a nap in the ever-growing pile of sleeping machine children in the yard.

 

“Man, a nap sounds like a good idea.” 9S mumbled while gazing longingly at the content hill of metal. It was almost unnerving looking at them like that though; had it not been for occasional limb twitches and robotic snores, the might have looked like a pile of lifeless scrap metal.

“Want to join?” 2B hummed. “I think that's all of them in there now so it's probably safe to power down for a while.”

“Mmmmaybe not right _in_ that pile. That doesn't seem the most comfortable place to sleep.” 2B nodded in agreement and they elected to curl up on a small platform nearby. 2B shimmied her way into his lap and rested her head on his chest; she closed her eyes and began humming a slightly off-tune song she heard one of the children sing sometime earlier.

9S ran his fingers through her hair absentmindedly as he pulled up his work for the Resistance. His eyes jumped between his data and the sleeping children, making sure none of them decided to wake up and get up to something dangerous while he was absorbed in his work.

2B eventually closed her eyes and powered down. 9S sighed in relief and pulled her closer; it had been a while since she last rested and he was glad she could finally do it here and now in the safety of the village. Every once in a while she twitched and mumbled in her sleep and 9S had to put his work down to kiss her sleeping head and recover from how painfully adorable she was.

 

"Children, 2B, 9S! I have returned!" The faint, but recognizable voice of Pascal echoed down from the skies some time later. Immediately, the huge pile of machines awoke simultaneously and rushed towards the source of his voice.

“Uncle Pascal!” They yelled in unison. “We missed you Uncle Pascal!”

"I missed you too, my children." He sang. "I'm so sorry I had to leave for so long on such short notice. It was an important meeting with another machine village nearby. We talked for a long time regarding our peace treaties with them and a few other villages. Two new colonies have joined our union and we decided to establish a trade route between our villages to exchange materials and goods and..." He paused as noticed the children had already lost interest in his story; some had begun wandering back down to play and others' heads tilted to the sky to watch a bird fly by. "Well, anyway, I'm back and I hope you all had fun spending time with 2B and 9S!"

“We did!”

“They painted me!”  
“2B got hurted but I helped fix her!”

“We played hopscotch!”

“And Johnny Says!”

“And Dirt is Lava!”

“I drew a kitty!”

“Wow!” He gasped. “You all were quite busy!”

“It was fun!”

"Yeah, it was fun!"

“I'm glad to hear that. I'd love for you all to tell me more about this after I talk to 2B and 9S for a bit.”

“Okay!” They yelled in unison before running back down to the yard.

“Thank you so much again for watching over them, both of you. These children are more important to me than my own life and I would have been distracted all day worrying about them if I didn't find someone responsible to watch over them. I do hope they weren't much trouble, they can get rather rowdy around newcomers.”

“It was no trouble at all.” Smiled 2B.

“It was more enjoyable than I expected, although exhausting.”

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Pascal sang, clapping his metallic 'hands' together. The three chatted away for a while, catching each other up on the other's eventful days before Anemone called them up to go escort a transport truck.

9S and 2B bid Pascal farewell and the children, upon hearing of their imminent departure, swarmed around the two in what 9S assumed was an attempt at a group hug. He found their reaction quite funny considering they lived only a few minutes away, but he was flattered regardless. They both had to wade through the sea of machines to reach the entrance and head on their way, waving goodbye to the entire village.

"Hey, 2B?" He mumbled as they neared the camp.

“Hmm?”

“I'm glad Pascal asked us to do this. The kids were kind of annoying sometimes but... It was... nice finally getting to just know what it's like to be a kid and not have to worry about much... more or less. It almost felt like... like we were part of one big happy family.”

“Yeah.” She hummed. “It was nice.”

“Hehheh... maybe one day... if we ever figure out how to bring back humanity... maybe we could have a family of our own, just like humans used to! I mean... we don't have to have twenty, maybe one or two... but I was just thinking it'd be nice to do that if we ever had the chance.”

“Maybe one day.” She sighed, squeezing his hand and rubbing her head against his. “When everything's settled and rebuilt and memories of this war and... everything just feels like a bad dream. For now though... I'm just happy to be devoted only to you.”

“Yeah.” He agreed. “For now, a family of just the two of us is fine by me.” 


End file.
